I’m the type of person that, unless I’m forced into something, I generally bring my heart with me. Unless I HAVE to absolutely do something, I’m rarely ever fake. I will give you ME…flaws, wackiness, & all. I value having others laugh & feel loved. By nature I’m a server, I like to take care of & tend to people, the only draw back is accesive abuse of my kindness.
When I walk into an environment that requires part of me for an extended period of time, I put what I’m able into it & it becomes a personal matter of the heart. If I can be somewhat comfortable around you, were set for the long haul. Over the years & through many experiences of my own, I’m aware of what others may want, need, & eagerly avoid. Most of my life, when I came across something about someone I didn’t like, it became a phobia for me to never posses such quality or participate in such actions.
I’m quite seasoned for my age, as with most I left a past that many would never guess or fathom, BUT learning from mistakes turns them into lessons!! That took years of walking through, what I labeled as “shame”, before I could truly stand on believing that. But between my raising up as a child, the environment I was surrounded by, & my life journeys, I’d like to think I’m an open minded person. I like to be real & true. I invite others to do the same, whether to me or to someone else. I believe in safe zones, though I’m guilty of not practicing what I encourage or preach. I do tend to have people come to me with secrets & issues, assuming they have total confidence in confidentiality with me.
I enjoy educating myself & researching, furthering knowledge is a drive for myself. Very rarely do I voice opinions & feelings with wrongly stated facts. I’ve never liked anyone to tell me what to do, so I can imagine that this seemingly “grasp of control” stems from that. People steer others wrong & a lot of people have no idea what they are facing or discussing, much less even attempting to pay attention. Though my life, trusting has usually always failed me. As a result, I take it upon myself to cross reference sources & come to my own conclusion.
There’s alot of “I’s” written here. But the truth is that my whole life has been a process of making me who I am & putting me in a better position to discover the true God OUTSIDE of religion & to grow in Him & strive to be the light to others. Kingdom growth will follow once a person is true to what & who God says they are. I could never be right where I am, possessing more joy than ever before, had God not patiently waited for me & met me where I was & began directing me to sources that would encourage me to break the chains & bondage that religion has put on my life. Though I grew up in church, I honestly feel like it was more a veneer than anything. I am now walking more in TRUTH, learning of things I’ve never heard of before. All of this has fueled me to begin transforming into a Child of God placed here for Kingdom work.
I’m not saying I’m perfect, only Jesus is. I’m ridiculously flawed, but I’m saved & loved by The Sovereign God of Life itself. With every mess up & fall down & step back, I learn more & more to correct myself & truck on. My heart had been hardened by the world, but God renews me often & put a heart of flesh in me, which empowers me with the ability to GIVE more of my heart to others that surround me & cross my path.
Writing this has brought me full circle. Yes, I give my heart & my attention to all my works..why I ask..because I am a steward of Jesus Christ. I give & more often I hurt as a result. Frustration & aggravation & feeling taken for granted fill me, but not fuel me as much as it used to. I watch the dying, I hold the crying, I sit with the shattered, I walk into emotionally rough situations & events. WHY???
BECAUSE I AM THE BODY OF CHRIST & CHRIST ABIDES IN ME!!!!!
It’s not me, it’s Christ IN & THROUGH me. That’s why. People need love & light. In my life experiences, I know that all to well. There is power in love & truth. LOVE covers a multitude of sins.
I am who I am & do what I do, because that is my role in God’s purpose & plan & on His agenda for me.